Koru Ceremony
  • Home
  • About
  • Weddings
  • FAQs
  • Couples
  • Other Services
  • Blog
  • Contact
Picture
Photo by Carly McCray Photography

Wedding Officiant | Professional vs. Family

3/22/2019

0 Comments

 
Here is an excellent article on whether you should hire a professional wedding officiant versus asking a friend or relative to perform the ceremony. 
Read the full article here by Pepper Sprout Barn. 
Picture
Wedding officiants | Professional vs. Family
 
Your wedding officiant can have a major impact on your day. The vows, rings and pronouncement of being officially married are the reasons for the wedding. Many couples ask a friend or family member to officiate their wedding but problems often arise when the ceremony is not performed by a professional. 

At Pepper Sprout Barn we’d estimate 60% of our weddings are officiated by a family member or a friend. Perhaps they don't know a pastor or officiant, their personal pastor is not available or it’s simply a vendor they procrastinate contacting. The reasons for the shift in not hiring a professional officiant are plentiful but unfortunately so can be the mistakes made by amateurs. 

More and more couples enlist the help of a family member. After all, getting ordained online is quick, easy and free. 
It’s an option, we don’t deny and trust us many ceremonies that are officiated by a family member are beautiful and run smoothly but mistakes are common when we have a first-time officiant at the altar. With more and more weddings happening outside a church, the trend to ask a family member to officiate is on the rise. 

You ask your dad, brother, uncle or friend to officiate your wedding. Sounds like the perfect plan, right? They get ordained online, you save money and someone you love and adore marries you, what could go wrong? Well, actually a lot can go wrong….here are some thoughts to consider. 
 
Nerves get the best of people
Think about it, it’s the most important day of YOUR life, they are standing in front of many people they don’t know and they are in charge of the ceremony, the reason you are all there. That’s a BIG responsibility and they have no experience and very little practice under their belt. 
​
First-time officiants….
  • talk fast or forget lines.
  • have a hard time managing it all—notes, the mic, rings, unity ceremony, etc. There is a lot going on. 
  • are not as loud as they think.
  • are not familiar with music elements or timing of music and transition. 

Sure they can practice in front of a mirror or with a small group of people but that is not the same as years of experience and when the real moment comes, many first-time officiants stumble at some point, some more than others. 

When you Google wedding ceremony scripts, you get many options but the free versions are most often outlines, highlighting only the  basic elements you should include in your ceremony such as introduction, prayer, unity ceremony, vows and final pronouncement. After all, they are free so professionals aren’t going to give away their best tips for nothing. Often the online templates do not include the little things, the pieces that make the entire ceremony flow smoothly. We often see the following things not addressed until the night of the rehearsal and once it’s sorted out, the officiant forgets to write it down and at the ceremony, it’s jumbled or forgotten all over again. 

Small details to consider:  
  • How to hand off the bride to the groom. What question is going to be asked? How is it answered? 
  • How does the person walking the bride down the aisle, address/greet/recognize the groom? How and when to hand off the bouquet? 
  • What announcements need to be made at the beginning of the ceremony (think unplugged ceremony) or at the end (reception location or picture information)? 
  • When do the guests stand, sit? 
  • Who is released first after the couple and wedding party depart? Where should they go?

The pros are used to talking in front of people. New faces and crowds do not make them nervous. 
Professionals can help create a beautiful, unique, personal ceremony just for you. You won’t have to rely on a basic template that anyone can find in an online search. 

They have a tried and true system for creating ceremonies. They can share personal collections of verses, prayers, readings that suit your style. They can save you hours of researching online. 

With the ceremony they create for you, there are no missing parts and often they will give you a professional copy of the final script, something that will be a forever keepsake. Imagine your kids reading it one day or incorporating it into their wedding and you have it if you ever renew your vows. 

They’ve made mistakes and have learned from them. Years of experience cannot be discounted. Think of that classic saying, “You get what you pay for”. 

Professional wedding officiants know how to navigate changes, bumps and interruptions that come with a wedding day. Crying kids, loud noises outside, a coughing guest are just a few possibilities.

This is their job, since they are not nervous so they don’t speak at warp speed or forget things. We had a new officiant that forgot to announce the couple as husband and wife! Hello, that’s what we are all here for! You can’t get that moment back, it’s gone forever. 

Trust us, the few hundred dollars that the professionals charge or the donation you make to their church will by far be worth the money when your ceremony is flawless, you are legally married and all proper documents are filled out and sent out on time! Not to mention all the time they will save you from researching, typing, planning and coordinating with family to make sure it all comes together. 

As it is with most parts of wedding planning, if you involve too many opinions, the vision is no longer yours. Do you really want that for your wedding ceremony? Working with a professional wedding officiant will ensure that the details of your ceremony are a true reflection of your love and style. 

Don’t forget that a professional wedding officiant provides services before and after the wedding too. They give you information on how to obtain a marriage license in your state, they send the license off for you after the wedding so you are legally wed, and they provide you information on how to legally change your name. Again, hours of time saved from research you do not have to do on your own. Think of the online rabbit holes you can avoid by hiring a professional officiant! 

If you don’t know of a professional wedding officiant, ask your venue. They will very likely have a list of names they can provide....
 
We get it. You want family to be a part of the ceremony!
You can do that and still have a professional wedding officiant. You can ask them to do a reading, say a prayer, sing a song, be a member of the wedding party but remember the ceremony is what makes it official, the vows are legally binding, do you really want to risk it? 

We don't deny having someone you love marry you is a touching moment but we see mistakes happen every time and they can be avoided. It’s your wedding ceremony, and it really should be perfect. After all, all eyes & ears are on you! The memorable moments should be the touching words, emotional elements not the burst of laughter or awkward silences stemming from the mistakes or nerves of your first-time officiant. 

Above all else, we want your day to be perfect so if you opt for a family member to officiate we hope that these tips will help your ceremony run smoothly. We want it to be a happy memory for all the right reasons. 
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Blog

    Welcome to our blog.  As  officiants and ceremony coordinators we delight in assisting couples celebrate one of the best and most memorable days of their life.  We hope you find this blog to be a source of inspiration and joy.  

    Archives

    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    March 2021
    January 2021
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    February 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • About
  • Weddings
  • FAQs
  • Couples
  • Other Services
  • Blog
  • Contact