I saw this post from last year on Koru Ceremony's Facebook page and thought it would be helpful to share...
My husband and I were recently in San Francisco and saw these fern korus at the deYoung Museum.
A koru is a new fern frond as it begins to unfurl. The word “koru” (pronounced kor-roo) is the Maori word for “loop.” A number of years ago I was introduced to this word when my daughter lived in New Zealand. For the indigenous people of New Zealand the koru symbolizes new beginnings and hope for the future. It embodies a new phase of life, positive change and personal growth, working together in harmony and being mindful of the good things in life. I felt the word koru symbolized everything I wanted my officiating business Koru Ceremony to represent. The koru personified the ideals of new beginnings I want to honor in ceremony.
Whenever someone is upset or sad, our natural response may be to try and cheer that person up. But that can be problematic in a romantic relationship.The tricky part with empathy is that it isn't about trying to lift your partner's, or anyone's, spirits. It's about validating the emotions that they feel, and understanding why they feel the way they do.
So, if your partner is experiencing difficult emotions—anger, sadness, fear, disappointment—don't try to cheer them up or calm them down. Instead, sit with them and offer words of understanding and support. Allow them to feel what they need to feel.
And don't try to problem-solve, either, even though that can feel like the right thing to do at the moment. That can come later. The most important thing to do is to offer empathy, which will help your partner feel validated.
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